I've always wondered where sex appeal applies for women in business. In past careers, I hid under loose-fitting clothing and no makeup to be "taken seriously" in a man's world. When I started my internet company in 1995, I tried to strike a balance between smart, sweet and maybe just a little sexy.
While my uniform back then was jeans, a black turtleneck and minimal makeup, I perfected the art of flirting. I did so because I was surrounded by men, and I worried that they would be intimidated because I knew more about the internet than they did. I thought batting my eyelashes now and then would help them warm up to me so we could close a business deal.
I can't say definitively whether it worked, but I can say that I'm pretty embarrassed about it now. Not because I shouldn't have flirted. What embarrasses me is that I didn't feel comfortable enough in my own skin as a businesswoman to be myself and not try to orchestrate that "perfect combination" of qualities.
"I have never experienced a work environment of any form where sex appeal does not play a key role in the business relationships where women are involved," says Michelle Dell, 39, owner and president of Hogs & Heifers Saloon in New York and Las Vegas. Hogs & Heifers is a club known as much for its bartenders and clients dancing on the bar as for its drinks and music. Both clubs together bring in more than $3 million a year.
Dell says that sex appeal can weaken or strengthen a woman's position in business, depending on her ability to establish her key qualities: independence, capability, competence, effectiveness and being a productive thinker.
Once she puts her best professional foot forward, a woman still needs to allow for the "energy, promise of fun, sense of humor, comfort with one's own body and the sense of adventure that the allure of sex appeal offers," Dell adds.
Rita Johnson, 31, president of Florida-based advertising agency PBMAI, disagrees.
"I do not feel it is appropriate or helpful to use sex appeal in business," Johnson says. "I face many challenges as an agency owner due to my appearance. Unfortunately, the first impression I apparently give is that of someone who is too young and too pretty to be smart or competent enough to handle a large advertising account."
Johnson says that in the past she resorted to wearing glasses and tying up her hair while pitching an account in order to be taken seriously.
"I doubt many men have faced the same challenge," Johnson says.
She adds, "I would much rather win an account due to my skill. Even in a field like advertising, where sex sells, I still feel it would be extremely inappropriate--and detrimental to my career--to attempt to consciously use my sex appeal, especially when I often feel discriminated against without trying [to use it]."
While Johnson has strong feelings against using sex appeal as an asset for her $2 million business, she admits that one of her clients told her that she and her team won a bid solely because they were attractive.
"I used to waste time being offended by this," Johnson says. "Now experience has taught me, just like in dating, beauty is only skin deep, and true intelligence and ability shine through in the long run."
Says Dell, "Sexuality is not a weapon or a negative trait." Rather, she describes it as "an empowering tool that--when appropriately combined with intelligence, confidence and a strong sense of self and a solid work ethic--can assist women in achieving their goals without undermining or weakening their position in the business world."
I don't consciously use sex appeal these days. But I'm confident in my abilities, content with who I am, and not afraid to wear sexy, hip-hugging slacks and form-fitting sweaters when the mood strikes--even though I'm 10 pounds heavier than I've ever been. My theory is as long as I'm comfortable with myself, others will be, too. And if not, I don't worry about it and simply move on with the business at hand.