I hate to do a post-mortem on my recent communications faux pas, but I've
been making some thoughtless comments lately to staff and clients. As I get
older, gain more experience and broaden my knowledge, I'm occasionally careless
in my listening and speech habits. The good news is that I've acknowledged this
personality flaw, and I'm on my way to changing those bad habits before I
alienate anyone else.
My father taught me that part of being successful involves intense listening
and respect for other people's dialogue. Take an interest in people, he said,
and be aware of others' words, because there is a great deal to learn from every
individual.
He also told me that, should I someday be lucky enough to run a company, I
would have to be very astute and have strong listening skills. That would allow
me to learn as much as I could about each and every client. Then I would be able
to offer the services and products best suited for each one. Well, it appears I
wasn't listening.
For example, a consulting client recently called me at home. He said that his
business partner had passed away and he therefore would have to delay our next
meeting. Feeling sad about his loss, I attempted to comfort him, saying, "Don't
worry, when things die down, you can give me a call." No pun intended, but there
was dead silence. Clearly, there was no way to get myself out of this
predicament.
Prior to that incident, a vendor stopped by my office to alert me to the
death of his web designer. I knew the web designer and had worked with him on
several occasions. The vendor wanted the home address of this man so he could
send flowers. Genuinely saddened by the designer's death and trying my best to
assist, I offered what I thought was a reassuring statement: "Oh, no problem. I
have his file somewhere; let me go dig him up." Horrified, the vendor thought I
was making an attempt at humor and abruptly removed himself from my reception
area.
I'm not the type who would use another's loss as the punch line for a joke.
In fact, I've always considered myself empathetic, reasonable and caring.
Recently, however, I've left a bad impression with important people on several
occasions.
Failure to communicate happens more often in business than one might think.
One such incident occurred in my office recently, when I staggered into work
exhausted after an unfortunate evening. One of my assistants, Kristi, scampered
past my desk remarking that I looked horrible. I was insulted by the comment,
but I moved on, explaining that my aunt had died and that I was up all night
making arrangements.
Gazing into her coffee cup, she said, "Oh well, I hope it's not serious."
Narrowing my eyes, I explained that it was indeed serious because she died.
"Well," Kristi said, "I hope she's better soon!" Then, with the same enthusiasm
she showed when she entered, off she went back into the kitchen for doughnuts. I
could not believe the insensitivity surrounding the death of my favorite aunt.
Before I concluded the arrangements to bury my aunt on the golf course in
Florida, I called Kristi into my office. I explained that I would be gone for a
few days because of the burial. She gave me her best congenial smile and said,
"Have a great trip!"
Kristi isn't a bad person. She's cheerful. Very, very cheerful. Although
she's an asset to my company, I did wonder whether she listens to clients or
whether her own happiness distracts her thought processes. Either way, I learned
a valuable lesson. Listening is personal and, as business professionals, we owe
our clients and fellow employees our best effort to hear what they are saying.
Clients communicate in many ways, but our livelihood depends on our ability
to hear them. Building strong interpersonal relationships will construct a
strong and stable business. People who know you and like you can make your
business experience enjoyable. In turn, you'll learn to be more pleasant. The
lesson is: Listen and then think--and you'll avoid an early demise to your
career.