Couples Love Working Together

Spouses considering starting a business together might fear the effect on their relationship. But contrary to expectations, couples we interviewed say their joint ventures have brought them closer together.

They admit to the occasional disagreement. But whoever feels the strongest or has the most expertise in the area of discussion usually gets his or her way. Several copreneurs describe the conflicts they've encountered and how they worked them out.

MyPacifier
Kim and Carol Pedersen

Kim and Carol Pedersen own MyPacifier, the U.S. distributor for personalized pacifiers invented and manufactured in Denmark. The pacifiers have the child's name or another slogan printed on them so they won't vanish or end up in another child's mouth.

The Pedersens make decisions together. Kim, who retired last year, has the more active role because Carol still works full-time for the city of Fremont, California. Kim typically checks with Carol before making any major decisions. Still, "When we need to make a decision fast, he makes an executive decision," Carol says.

"If your marriage is one where you argue over the drapes, you're going to argue over the business," Kim says. "We're fortunate that, in our marriage, we don't get into major disputes." He adds, "She's tolerant of my wild ideas."

Whoever had more talent in a particular area ended up doing that job, he says. As the more creative partner, Kim does artwork for advertisements and comes up with marketing ideas. Carol works with customers and handles the bookkeeping.

Kim is constantly coming up with ideas, and Carol says she used to get tense, wondering how far he would go with the wilder ones. "Now I just ignore him. There's a 75 percent chance he's not going to do what he says he's going to do," she says. He did, however, build a small but rideable roller coaster in their backyard, then constructed a backyard monorail when they moved to another house.

Lady J Jewelry Designs
Jessica D'Amico and Paul Berliner

Jessica D'Amico started Lady J Jewelry Designs before she met husband Paul Berliner, but they are now partners and co-owners. Paul, who also works full-time for a hedge fund, serves as CFO and COO.

The biggest dispute they've had is the need to balance Jessica's creative side with the realities of running a business. Paul had to convince her to work efficiently, limiting the amount of time spent on each piece. "The goal is not just to create beautiful jewelry but to earn a return on your work," Paul says. For example, Jessica now uses common parts throughout a product line, saving time and facilitating the casting process, which she outsources.

"We're really much more efficient, and the quality hasn't suffered," Paul says.

"That isn't something they teach at design school," Jessica says, admitting that it was a frustrating lesson for her. But she has adapted. She now spends more time on one or two higher-priced pieces than she spends on the rest of the line. She also sets deadlines for finishing pieces.

Paul, too, has had to change. He acknowledges a tendency to be a control freak, but says he has relinquished any attempt to run the creative side of the business.

Of course they have disagreements. "We definitely raise our voices if we're trying to make a point," Paul admits. "The key is to move on from it fast and don't get your feelings hurt." If they don't reach resolve the issue immediately, the couple revisit the argument a few days later. Sometimes, they'll bring in a family member or friend to mediate. For example, if she shows Paul a jewelry design and he doesn't have an opinion or doesn't like it, they'll get a third-party person involved.

"He's more of a hard sell, and I'm more of a soft sell," Jessica says. But both admit to being driven people, passionate about the growth of the business. "There will be conflicts now and then, but we've grown closer together and generated ever-increasing respect for one another," Paul adds.

Their advice for couples starting a business together is: 1) Make sure you have a lot of time to dedicate to the business, 2) know what each of you is good at, 3) be clear about who does what and 4) rely on one another.

Sticks and Stones
Brad and Jera Deal

Brad and Jera Deal's business, Sticks and Stones, started as an educational hobby for their family of five. They began photographing "letters" in nature and in architecture. For example, a doorknob looked like an "O" and a goalpost formed an "H." When one child's class needed a wedding gift for a teacher, the family decided to frame the teacher's new last name using their letters. The next thing they knew, they had a cottage industry, which has since blossomed into a multimillion-dollar business.

While Jera handles PR and marketing, Brad is in charge of "everything else." He runs the show at the office while Jera stays home with the girls. "We're such a perfect complement to each other," Jera says. "He loves to do the things I can't stand. And I love to do the things he would rather not."

Jera admits that Brad sometimes has to rein her in. She's had her eye on being included among "Oprah's Favorite Things" since the business began. "I'm confident in our product and in my ability to get people excited about it. But Brad will say, 'Hold on. You can't get so excited that we have everyone wanting one this Christmas.' Because, logistically, if we can't produce enough product, we don't have a business," Jera says.

That's been frustrating for her, Jera admits. "We have competition out there. Would I be able to live with myself if they get there [on Oprah] first?"

Jera defers to Brad when it comes to the business, and he defers to her with the girls. "We have a great system," Jera says. Business is business, and it doesn't affect their marriage or their family life. They also are exposing their girls to the business, getting them involved when choosing letter styles, for example.

Jera admits that their disagreements sometimes resemble fighting. "We're both bullheaded and passionate. We won't be fighting, but we'll get so fired up that the girls are convinced we're fighting."

HB Digital Arts & Blueprint Inc.
Domenic Iorfino and Kristy Selleck

Dom Iorfino, who has a background in graphics and industrial design, joined what was then HB Blueprint as a junior partner in 1992, working with founder Marion Byron and her son, Glenn. Dom asked Kristy to manage the office and do the books in 1996, shortly before Byron retired. In 1997, Dom and Kristy dissolved the partnership and took over the business.

Kristy, who had a career in the hospital industry, reluctantly--and somewhat nervously--gave up her paycheck and generous benefits to help out her husband. She feared that working together might strain their relationship. "In retrospect," Dom says, "it made it stronger."

Kristy focuses on customer service, bookkeeping and HR at HB Digital. Dom concentrates on production and design.

When they disagree on an issue, each one tries to sell his or her point of view. Generally, whoever feels more strongly--or whoever has the appropriate expertise--wins.

When Kristy wanted to switch accountants several years ago, Dom agreed, even though he liked the one they had. "She was the one who had to interact with him," he said. By the same token, if Dom feels strongly about buying a new piece of equipment, Kristy is likely to agree, provided he can make a case that it will improve customer service and, ultimately, the bottom line.

Kristy recalls only a couple of incidents when a disagreement was more than momentary. Dom is surprised: He doesn't remember any such conflicts. "One was at the very beginning," she reminds him. "You were treating me as though I were your secretary. 'Get me this, go do that.' "

The solution was simple: When Kristy finally told Dom how she felt, he changed his behavior. "Things are always easily resolved with modifications," Dom says.

There are downsides. "Before we worked together, we used to talk all the time on the phone. Now we don't talk--there's no time, even though we sit right next to each other at the office." But the benefits outweigh the pitfalls, both agree. "This has been the best experience of my life," Dom says. "If I sat down and tried to plan out this business or this lifestyle, I couldn't have done a better job."