Breaking Bread for Better Business

The business lunch is not about the food. It's about building relationships to boost your bottom line.


Going out to lunch can actually make you money. "More business decisions occur over lunch and dinner than at any other time, yet no MBA courses are given on the subject," management expert Peter Drucker says. As a women entrepreneur, you need to know the ins and outs of this most basic and profitable way to grow your business.

Breaking bread with your client is not about the food. A business lunch provides a relaxed atmosphere for getting to know your client, allowing you to find out what is important to him or her. In the words of super salesman Zig Ziglar, "You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

Treat the business lunch as you would a job interview, although without the pressure. You would never go to a job interview without researching the company first. Research your client's business successes and failures.

Have a couple of nonintrusive questions to ask your client to get conversation rolling. Arm yourself with engaging, neutral conversational topics that have nothing to do with your potential joint venture. The point is to get to know your client and build a relationship.

Take special care selecting the restaurant for your business lunch. It is vital that you know your client's potential food preferences or restrictions. For example, your client may be a vegetarian or have food allergies. Seek recommendations on restaurants from several sources. Whenever possible, preview a new restaurant before bringing a client. If the restaurant is too noisy or even too quiet, it can make conversation difficult. When making reservations, ask which credit cards are accepted and request a private table with an experienced server.

Take time to review proper table manners. Yes, they matter. Gross violations of etiquette will lower your client's opinion of you and quite possibly kill the deal. There is more to dining etiquette than keeping your elbows off the table and chewing with your mouth closed. For many of us, dining etiquette has become a lost art. Many have grown up eating in front of a TV set instead of at the dinner table. An etiquette consultant can refine your dining skills and make you more confident in any social situation.


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A day or two before your lunch, call the restaurant to confirm your reservations, table and experienced server. Be sure to call your client to let him or her know you are looking forward to the event, confirming the time and place.

If you're like me, you may want to stash an extra blouse at your office for the occasional drip and splat. Have a snack prepared in case you do more talking than eating: Remember, it's not about the food.

It is always a good idea to have grooming essentials at the ready in a small bag. Include a hairbrush and hairspray, toothbrush, hand wipes and makeup. Important: Touchups should never be done in public view.

The day of the lunch, arrive early. Check the position of your table, decide where you and your client will be seated and speak to your server. Let the server know this is a business lunch and advise him or her not to approach if papers are on the table. Give the server your credit card before your client arrives and tell the server to include a 20 percent tip to ensure great service. When you see your client arrive, turn off your cell phone and complete the following checklist:

  • Greet the client with a smile and a firm handshake, looking him or her in the eye.
     
  • Thank your client for meeting with you and offer direction on seating.
     
  • When viewing the menu, make comments such as, "I've heard the grilled chicken is excellent." This will alleviate any tension your client may feel concerning what is acceptable to order.
     
  • Have your client order first, and parallel order. In other words, if your client orders a first course such as salad or soup, you order one as well, and vice versa. It is embarrassing to have your client, who did not order a first course, watch you eat yours.
     
  • Never order anything difficult to eat such as spaghetti, an item with sauce or small bones or even a hamburger.
     
  • Eat at the same pace as your client, so both of you will finish each course at the same time.
     
  • It is not appropriate to order hard alcohol at lunch. If you choose not to drink, feel free to give an excuse and be gracious. Only if your client orders an alcoholic beverage may you order one as well, limiting yourself to one drink.
     
  • Be a great listener. Look your client in the eye and really be there "in the moment."
     
  • Wait until near the end of the meal to bring up business. Looking over papers with a table full of food is challenging.

Important note: When dealing with clients of the opposite sex, make sure to keep your roles clearly defined. There should be no misunderstanding that the business lunch is a date. When the client is of the opposite sex and you want to prevent rumors, you may opt to bring an associate relevant to your business. Before bringing a spouse or significant other, consider carefully whether there is a legitimate business reason for that person to attend. Be sure to inform your client of any additional guests.

Finally, relax and enjoy the conversation and company. If something goes wrong, as it often does, handle it with grace and humor. Do not dwell on the incident. Even etiquette consultants commit an occasional faux pas. How you recover says more about you than the unfortunate incident. Be sure to reap the benefits of breaking bread with your client.

Holly K. Rauser, founder of Consider Etiquette, is a speaker and etiquette consultant who considers etiquette an essential part of life's relationships.






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