If you're a woman entrepreneur, chances are you have a great idea. You might
even have an entire set of them waiting to spring to life. However, even the
brightest ideas are useless if you can't do one thing: sell them. Until you
develop that skill, you'll be forever stalled on your road to success.
For many women, "selling" is a dirty word, and the idea of asking for what
you want seems distasteful. These impressions date back to the antediluvian
convention instilled in our mothers and then transmitted to us: Girls who are
feminine do not display social traits revealing financial ambition. The
implications of pushiness, deceit and unflattering maleness overwhelm and defeat
us before we begin. They make successful selling seem unladylike at best and
immoral at worst.
Society's attitudes have changed, but many of us are stuck in outmoded ideas
about selling being somehow dishonest or unfair. Nothing could be further from
the truth. If you're an ethical person involved in selling, by nature your
concentration will be on ethical behavior: filling someone else's need,
providing real benefits or services, or doing something useful by helping your
customers. There is nothing dirty about that.
Let Go of Your Fears
For most women, the inability to sell comes down to one thing: fear. Fear
is the reason people avoid success--fear of what success will do to their lives,
fear of not being able to succeed, fear of too much success, fear of that tiny
word "no"--or just fear in general. The nice thing about fear, though, is that
it's universal. Everyone has fears.
Women in particular have fears that are deeply rooted in childhood and
societal programming. Some of us have fought so hard to make a legitimate space
for ourselves in the workplace that any failure makes us feel as though we are
losing ground. Others worry that if we are too successful, people will see us as
cold or too aggressive. Still other women view rejection of their skill sets or
proposals as a rejection of themselves.
Some avoid making changes that would lead to greater success because it would
require a drastic reimagining of the self. And almost all of us worry about how
too much success will affect our relationships with friends and significant
others.
You're Already the Ideal Salesperson
The reality is this: There is nothing to fear because, though you may not
realize it, you are already selling beautifully. The essence of selling is
finding out what someone needs and providing it. Women have been trained from
birth to be givers and providers in a world of users. Think of your day-to-day
interactions with those close to you. How many times this week have you
anticipated and fulfilled a need?
Let me put it another way. If you were to write your autobiography and
replace what I call emotional words with business terminology, you would
discover that you sell to the people in your circle of influence almost every
single day. You offer your willingness to provide information, service, support
and even a variety of products (food and other essentials) to everyone in your
circle who may have a use for it. You employ various systems of asking and
receiving with your significant other, children, co-workers and friends. You are
already the ideal salesperson.
Here is the simplest truth: To sell successfully is to use the life skills
you are already well-versed in. You must simply transfer your skills from one
environment to another.
Humanist Stuart Emery said, "The world is divided into two kinds of people:
the people who are fearful and can't move ahead, and the people who are fearful
and take their fear with them and do it anyway." We all have a choice. We can
act, or not act. We can ask for what we want, or we can wait for someone else to
guess what it is and offer it. We can go out of our safe little environment and
create opportunities, or we can stay in a little world with only our family and
friends. You will not perish in the business world. You already have the
know-how.
Clearly, selling is a woman's game. When are you going to start playing it in
your career?
This article is based on the book
The Woman's New Selling Game: How to Sell Yourself--and Anything Else by
Carole Hyatt. Hyatt, of
Hyatt Associates Inc., has written six books on women in the workplace. She
is also an international motivational speaker and an expert on career
development and women's corporate programs.