I can't do it all. There. I said it. Hard as it is to admit, I'm not
Superwoman. I'm just a lifelong overachiever who finally hit a wall after having
a baby. These days, I must pick my projects with care because I simply can't
work the way I used to when single and childless.
So which women develop "Superwoman syndrome"?
"A high achiever by nature, she may have experienced having much
responsibility from a young age," explains Dr. Gabriela Cora,
president of The Executive Health & Wealth Institute and author of a
self-published book, Leading Under Pressure: Strategies to Maximize Peak
Performance & Productivity While Maximizing Health & Wellbeing. "There may have
been high expectations about her ability to perform and succeed. Oftentimes, she
feeds on people praising her abilities to be the superwoman, usually thanking
and complaining--as a victim--of her overextended schedule at the same time."
Sound familiar? It does to me, and it took childbirth to rewire
me.
Jodi Harouche, 36, had a similar experience after her second child was born
just 15 months after her first. "With just one child, I was able to have him in
the office with me [with] a babysitter in tow and get things accomplished," says
Harouche. "When my second son was born, I was faced with a huge dilemma."
Harouche's New York City-based retail training production company, Multimedia
Plus, was growing steadily, and office space was at capacity with new hires. "I physically didn't have the room to bring either child into the
office with me," she says. This forced me to make some hard calls, and I spent a lot of
time out of the office, [which] was highly frustrating for our employees."
Harouche, who co-owns the company with her husband, realized her absences
impacted productivity. She and her husband then tried alternating taking care of
their children as they grew their business. "After a few months, we realized
that this was even worse, and I was physically and mentally drained from running
around like a chicken without a head," says Harouche. "I realized this couldn't
go on. Everything and everyone was going to be impacted by my superwoman
attitude."
The couple finally invested in a full-time nanny to care for their boys, and
Harouche resumed regular office hours.
"I'd worked so hard to get where we were … I didn't want to lose it," she
says. "Giving up the business meant not being an active contributor to our
family income. [I've been] working since I was 14 years old. It was
scary to think I might have to make such a radical decision that would influence
what I'd worked years to build."
Twentysomething Ifeanyi Chijindu, CEO of beauty products company Goddess
CAT, says she had to overcome the Superwoman syndrome. The oldest of five children,
Chijindu attributes her intense work ethic to her Nigerian culture.
"It influenced me to grow up as an academically competitive
kid," Chijindu says. "I'm used to going out and getting what I want out of life one way or
another, and I'm used to being independent. Nothing was ever handed to me on a
silver platter."
To relieve some of the pressure, Chijindu built a "dream
team" at her company. "I wasn't upset that I couldn't do it all. That's
just reality," says Chijindu. "No one can master every single thing. However,
I'm great at finding people who can give their all for exactly what I need them
to do."
To overcome Superwoman syndrome, Cora says, "Know thyself. If you feel like
you're doing it all, feel guilty if you're not in constant activity mode and
feel like a victim of the circumstances, allow yourself to change."
She also recommends what she calls the "four pillars of biological health":
exercise, nutrition, sleep and relaxation.
And learn how to delegate without guilt.